I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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