Im at strip club and am horny
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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