you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
