The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
