Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize