Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
