I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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