it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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