What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
