So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
