did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
