your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
