You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
