My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize