Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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