So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize