Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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