Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
