Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
