Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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