I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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