i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We don't watch enough power rangers
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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