on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am mentally ready for anal.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
