I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
