I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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