I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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