can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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