so let's talk penis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
