I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
