HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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