All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
