i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
