If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
