Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
