Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
