did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
