One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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