Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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