Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
