But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
