it hurts more in the daytime
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
