Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize