careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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