at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
