hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
