my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
