so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ketchup is God's man juice
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
