So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
