now i know why i became what i already was.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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