he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
