I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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