nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I still have a little drunk in my system
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize