Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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