Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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