dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
