There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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