IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
