Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
