i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
