You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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