ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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