He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
