Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize