No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
