i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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