Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
