We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
