Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
