Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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