yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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