Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
